The Worst Newsletter I’ve Ever Written

Quick one today. It’s a little vacuous too. Just trying to get shots up every Friday. Stay consistent. So for the first time, I’m banging one of these out on the mobile. But why a pocket Pioneer? I’m seated at The Theque for a matinee showing of The Odyssey…70 mm. Non-IMAX. A true contrarian’s format. Your favorite projectionist’s favorite projectionist’s format. I’m tapping away at this before the lights dim. Taking some capacious handfuls of popcorn to the face too. Poor foresight. I’ll end up starting this 3 hour epic in my own end zone. Bag half empty. Not enough corn to get downfield to the credits. Such is life, I guess.

Wait the lights are going down….

Aight…just got out of The Oddy. Fuck. This is why we play the game. I won’t spoil much else. But I can’t believe they let Matt Damon buy another zoo. Nolan you’re absolutely sick for that. Also, I could be interested in like a sword fighting gym. I keep seeing these actors get to put up rep after rep on the side of a cliff with their father’s greatest warrior, just absolutely getting them RIGHT. Training them for a great war. They surely push these scrawny actors but in a cool and casual, I’m paid by your father to be your big bro type of way. I love these scenes. Oddy’s got a great one. Dune 1 too. But my fave is Joaquin Pheonix in Gladiator, going 1 v 4 in a non-contact drill. He kind of lights those guys up. Yes it screams dribble step combo on a few folding chairs, but I still come away impressed.

I want this. Maybe as a session on Classpass. Just on the off chance I assume some throne and need to defend my family’s name. We just don’t know until we find ourselves in these situations. Damon bought another zoo. Anything is possible.

Just kidding. I ain’t got Class Pass.

But The Odyssey? I reckon you should see it.

Pioneer Big Fit Of The Week

Easy choice. Merch drop soon. But not this shirt. Got this one on clearance at The Gap.