The Stop & Chat Postgame
If you know me well and have borne witness to a stop & chat of mine, I’ve probably asked you this…
Did [insert almost clever dig] sound as awkward as it felt rolling off the tongue?…Did I linger too long? No? You wouldn’t tell me if it did? Got it. Well thanks for hearing out my concerns regardless.
I’m not one to shy away from a lil’ the stop & chat. Did LD make up the term stop & chat on that episode of Curb? The one where he declares it fair ball to politely refuse them? Do you even know what I’m talking about? Does this sound awkward? You wouldn’t tell me if it did? Well thanks for hearing out my concerns regardless.
All I’m trying to say is I consider myself a social guy. I enjoy a good stop & chat and will even go single-AirPod at Trader Joe’s, just in case the love of my life is in the frozen aisle (I hate pre-made frozen food but I’m told opposites attract). But any quality stop & chat can often be followed by harsh self-analysis. What came off wrong? How did I recover from lulls in the conversation? Did I pull off an Argo level exfil like Affleck or pull open a push door like Tim Robinson? I’m never too sure. Then again, I never will be. There’s a certain level of comfort in that. A lack of control over the situation. However, that doesn’t stop the initial debate and questioning. The replays of events. The Inside The NBA postgame show that runs on repeat in my head. I imagine Chuck and Kenny debate how my failed Dry January joke will affect my legacy. Ernie and Shaq pulling up tweets about my boring comment on the weather. The Inside Guys don’t stop yapping up there (my head). That is until I remind them, of course, that I have no control over the matter.
After all, I must pay the price for talking to anybody, ever. Each and every day I DON’T sit on the couch - scrolling through my Pinterest board Fuck You Fits, Doordashing, then scrolling through my other Pinterest board Final Boss Sam Elliot - I run the risk of putting my foot in my mouth. In our emoji-7 exclamation point-no capital letters world, talking is a high stakes, high reward operation. One that has three inevitable outcomes. Yours, theirs, and the truth.
So if I ever have said the wrong thing to you or extended our stop-and-chat far after the music began playing me off, don’t you dare tell me. I’m sure it’s happened plenty. But I’d never want to give Ernie, Chuck, Kenny, and Shaq the advanced analytics off conversationreference.com (via The Elias Conversation Bureau) to back up their takes. Only then would I run the risk of never approaching this imaginary lady in the frozen section of Trader Joe’s. I’d get less social if I knew my legacy was on the line. And we can’t just exist in a double-Airpod world. There simply needs to be chance, failure, and stop-and-chats. All apologies to you, LD.
Hardcore Recs (and plugs)
Elevator Pitch (Podcast) - Two new eps since we last spoke. Will and I talked Denis Villenueve with Krinsky from
(an nba pod for the new age) and then Robert Eggers with Will Angus from The Almost Friday Podcast as well as all those funny as hell AFTV sketches. Both are great. Both should be clicked on right now…Well, finish reading this and then click on them.Los Angeles Plays Itself (Documentary) - I’ve now ripped off two recs in a row from The Watch pod but this was too good not to. A straight up video thesaurus dissecting how LA is portrayed on screen. Dense but incredibly interesting. A former studio tour guide’s wet dream. For anyone curious about this city’s history, it now officially goes on my list of must-consumes along with Castle On Sunset (book about the Chateau Marmont) and Den of Thieves (movie starring Gerard Butler shot in Atlanta but set in Torrance).
Teddy Blanks’ NY Times Profile (Article) - I’ve been sort of obsessed with his work for a few years. He’s a graphic designer who specializes in the typography for title cards. If this doesn’t sound interesting to you, delete my number and never speak to me again.
Orange Juice (Juice) - Sort of snuck its way back into my grocery store rotation and I’ve been wondering where it ever went. I love getting home, swinging open the fridge, and just going straight to the goddamn SOURCE. I’ll never turn my back on you again, orange juice.
Right Ear The Bible (Chinese), Left Ear Mozart (2x Speed) 10 Hours (Focus tool) - Shout out to friend of the newsletter Lerm for this one. I know what you’re thinking…will this turn me into a Chuck-style sleeper spy for the Chinese Intelligence? I’m not sure. But I swear to Xi Jinping, this helped me focus. Wait. What did I just say. Also why am I in Beijing. Someone please help.