The Partiful Paradox
I might have mentioned this a few weeks ago.
Newsletter Party…who’s down?
I’m down. That’s one. You reading this? That could be two. Hell, who’s to say we won’t get three? But how might one assemble a crowd these days? We all know the answer. It hurts to say and it pains me even more to feel the buzz in my pocket when its ghastly notification arrives.
Like a congressional candidate just 5 dollars away from the finish line or your bank’s two factor authentication…the automated 39781 number breaks through the great wall of iMessage like a rodent you thought you exterminated. It is an invitation yet somehow it feels uninviting. Invading. And unlike the vibe I hope to curate at a gathering of mine…slightly anonymous. There is no date to this invitation. No location or time. For that, we must follow the blue linked road. And it leads to a landing page like no other. A smiley face for going. A frowny face for can’t go. A Rain Man face for maybe. Below it, a blurred list of those pretending to go. Another redacted list of emotional assassins, who I imagine laid off an entire division of Salesforce before breakfast, who immediately know they can’t. Then there’s the small but mighty group of maybe three, who feel that life is like a box of chocolates, and reply maybe. Would you like to know who’s on each of these lists? Well, you’re going to have to commit and punch that phone number in to find out. And don’t worry, you’ll never forget when this thing is ever again. 39781 will make sure of it.
Goddamn if Partiful ain’t clever.
Therein lies the Partiful Paradox. Or the Paradox of Partiful (A/B testing those, let’s see what sticks). I’m just not sure how I feel about the rage planning software of our time….
You know what? That’s a lie to sound philosophical. I’m actually very sure how I feel about it. I think Partiful is deeply lame. An invite weapon that prioritizes prying on our boredom and desperation instead of providing information. An invitation highway that has taken my phone number and will not let go. Text blasts. Reminders. 2 weeks away. 1 week. 1 day. Today. What happened to the separation of my inbox church from the state of my schedule? It didn’t used to be this way. And hell, I used to party more.
But those were the good ol’ days. When a river ran through it. Loyola Marymount University. 2018. Das Wüd and Trop, two dank party houses in the Sigma Chi fraternity rotation, were able to throw down through meticulous planning on Facebook Events. And yes, I say that with reverence as it’s not 4 years but instead 4 life. I mentioned last week that my only current use for Facebook is Marketplace. As I’m sure yours is too. But for any readers old enough to remember where you were when Obama wore a tan suit, you must also remember Events was our other use on the already post-empire social media app. It had a complete stronghold on the collegiate social scene. You changed your profile banner to a Spring Rush poster. You removed any childhood posts that conflicted with the tales you spun during the Fall rush prior. You removed any ironic family connections you made with friends from middle school. And you did all of this because you knew that once invited to a bash, you were on the list. And that list was taken seriously. Who’s going? Who’s not? Facebook Events truly did, as Eisenberg said in SoNet…put the entire social experience of college on the internet. And a few years later, it was all gone. The generation below didn’t have those dormant Facebook accounts lying around and they wouldn’t dare make one just to rage. A gap in the market…and Partiful rose like a phoenix from the inbox.
In many ways, Partiful is just the natural progression. Maybe even the first to tie your phone number to an invitation. But this ingenious idea might finally cross an important efficiency line in the sand. Unlike an old fashioned letter, flyer, phone call, or my beloved Facebook event - Partiful eliminates any space between my invitation and me. And through its automated pings and prods, it might just create more division between the actual host and me as that damn 39781 number arrives like a brick through the window.
Even if it’s never been easier to invite or be invited, I’m in no ways not fatigued by socializing. No sir. But I am fatigued by the way I’m invited as any event feels absolutely cheapened by Partiful’s convenience. I’ve accepted this recurring fact of modernity when it comes to grocery delivery. I’ve embraced it when it comes to Venmo. I’ve even started a collection when it comes to hyper niche emojis. But a party is quite literally a human gathering. To use such an automated and invasive method to invite those you hope to attend feels deeply uncool and…
incredibly fucking wack?
I’m sure of of it. I also realize some of you might not want to admit it because you just sent out a 25th birthday party Partiful with this meme on it…
It’s a top suggestion Partiful will provide. Another cookie cutter shortcut in place of thoughtful graphic design or at least a proper search on Google Images. Here is a poster a friend of mine made for a Knicks watch party recently. He texted it to me individually, I responded promptly, and put it in my calendar (incorrectly) accordingly.
I know a Newsletter bash, Pioneer style, demands this type of intention. It will force me to be the change I’d like to see in the world. Stationary sounds cool but I can’t trust any of you, including myself, to check the mail. I’m not even sure if I have a mailbox key. So maybe I’ll have to call 100 people. Then send a dank digital flyer, like that above, immediately after. Surely some people might forget to show up. But maybe, enough will be charmed by that smooth and silky touch of human effort. And in turn, take the hard earned time to enter this bash into the Google Cal manually, on dial up internet of course.
The hard way is hard for a reason and it’s up to all of us to decide when it might be worth it. So maybe I should be thankful for the Paradox of Partiful (The Partiful Paradox). Such as the void it filled in a Facebookless world, there’s now suddenly room to stand out again.
